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Staff officers say the strangest things..... (UNCLASSIFIED) Part III

Discussion Board on this Military Joke

Part I | Part II | Part III | Part IV | Part V | Part VI | Part VII

"Ya know, in this Command, if the world were supposed to end tomorrow, it would still happen behind schedule." CWO4 (Chief Warrant Officer) (ret) (EUCOM)

"Even if Al-Qaeda nuked this place, the Chief of Staff would approve a 4-star visitor the very next day!"�� GS-12 (US government employee, grade 12) (EUCOM)

"Never pet a burning dog."�� LTC (Tennessee National Guard)

"It's basically announcing to the world that I've completely given up." LT (USN F-14 squadron) on his initial feelings behind the wheel of his brand new minivan

"A staff action is like getting an out of state check, countersigned by a fraud on a phony ID: some of the time it clears, but most of the time, you're screwed." Lt Col (USAF)

"I need intelligence, not information."�� Maj (EUCOM)

"Ah, the joys of Paris: a unique chance to swill warm wine and be mesmerized by the dank ambrosia of unkempt armpits..." LCDR�� (NAVEUR)

"'Status quo,' as you know, is Latin for 'the mess we're in...'" Attributed to former President Ronald Reagan

"We are now past the good idea cutoff point..."�� MAJ (JS) on the fact that somebody always tries to "fine tune" a COA with more "good ideas"

"Who are you talking to? ...Hang up the phone!"�� Lt Col mentoring MAJ (EUCOM) on how to stay in his own lane...

"The hardest thing about having a third child is switching from 1-on-1 to a zone defense." MAJ (EUCOM)

"Nobody ever said you had to be smart to make 0-6 (Colonel)."�� Col (EUCOM)

"I haven't complied with a darn thing and nothing bad has happened to me yet."
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"Whatever happened to good old-fashioned military leadership? Just task the first two people you see."
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"The first question I ask myself when tasked to do something that's not obviously and overwhelmingly in my own best interest is, 'Exactly what happens if I don't do it?'"

"Accuracy and attention to detail take a certain amount of time."

"No need to tip our hand as to how responsive we can be." CDR (EUCOM) in a passdown to his replacement

"I seem to be rapidly approaching the apex of my mediocre career." MAJ (JS)

"I think that my next set of orders will take me to Iraq. My career's going so badly that I'm considered a 'dead-ender.'" LtCol (EUCOM)

Part I | Part II | Part III | Part IV | Part V | Part VI | Part VII