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Staff officers say the strangest things..... (UNCLASSIFIED) Part IV
Discussion Board on this Military Joke
Part I | Part II | Part III | Part IV | Part V | Part VI | Part VII
"I just realized that this War on Terror might take a�little longer than we thought, so I am developing a�new system of hanging charts on walls to solve�our problem and win the war." LTC (EUCOM) after a
review of long range Counter Terrorism (CT) plans
"Much work remains to be done before we can announce�our total failure to make any progress."��
"None of us�is as dumb as all of us." Excerpted from a�brief (EUCOM)
"Things are looking up for us here. In fact, Papua-New�Guinea is thinking of offering two platoons: one of�Infantry (headhunters) and one of engineers�(hut builders). They want to eat any Iraqis they kill.� ��We've got no issues with that, but State is being�anal about it." LTC (JS) on OIF coalition-building
"It's not a lot of work unless you have to do it."� �LTC (EUCOM)
"I'm gonna have to leave work early today and probably�stay home tomorrow.�I'm fighting off a cold and I want to beat it before I�start my leave in two days." MAJ (EUCOM)
"Creating smoking holes gives our lives meaning and�enhances our manliness."� �LTC (EUCOM) at a CT conference
"Interagency is a process, not a noun."� �Anonymous (EUCOM)
"Eventually, we have to 'make nice' with the French,�although, since I'm new in my job, I have every�expectation that I'll be contradicted." DOS (Department of State) rep at a�Counter Terrorism Conference
"Everyone should have an equal chance, but not�everyone is equal."�
"I am so far down the food chain�that I've got plankton bites on my butt."
"You can get drunk enough to do most anything, but you�have to realize going in that there are some things�that, once you sober up and realize what you�have done, will lead you to either grab a 12-gauge or
stay drunk for the rest of your life."
"Once you accept that a dog is a dog, you can't get�upset when it barks." Lt Col (USSOCOM), excerpts
"That guy just won't take 'yes' for an answer."� �MAJ (EUCOM)
"Let's just call Lessons Learned what they really are: institutionalized�scab picking."
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�"I can describe what�it feels like being a Staff Officer in�two words: distilled pain." CDR (NAVEUR)
"When all else fails, simply revel in the absurdity of�it all." LCDR (CENTCOM)
"Never attribute to malice that which can be ascribed�to sheer stupidity."� �LTC (CENTCOM)
Part I | Part II | Part III | Part IV | Part V | Part VI | Part VII
