|Dear Gloria and all,
We in the US are terribly sorry, but we can not accede to your latest request for assistance with terrorism in you lovely country. As we are heavily engaged elsewhere (especially in Iraq; you remember, the place you just pulled your troops out of a couple of months ago?!?), we won't be able to send any more of our folks to fight the MILF and all those other baddies for you, at least until, oh, say 2010? We have enclosed several copies of Ralph Waldo Emerson's "Self-Reliance", so that you may be empowered in and of yourselves and deal with those troubles of your own more effectively.
The Good Guys (aka United States of America)