Quebec wouldn't have a military they believe in using their intellectual abilities to solve conflicts ;)

...exhausted its intellectual resources repelling US tourist dollars?

Quebec would most likely not really want much of a military. You see what Quebec wants is a sovereign Quebec surrounded by a Strong United Canada which is a pretty funny thought.

in the beginning they would use the police. (the MTL cops are pretty intimidating and xenophobic... they'd be perfect) a new state would demand armed forces. this together with the debt load they'd be required to take from the federal gov't as a percentage of the national debt would put heavy demands on the new state.

Provided Quebec were to become indpendent from Ottawa, would it turn around and apply to become a department of the Republic of France?

the french would love the idea but i doubt the quebecers would be interested. as far as i can see they want all the bennies of independance without any of the irritating parts like accepting a hefty chunk of the debt or having to maintain their own territorial integrity etc. just goes to show that internal consistency isn't a necessary item in politics.

If Quebec ever manages to climb out of the womb they will immediately seek out another womb and, upon finding it, stick their thumb in their mouth and commence to tossing and turning - a parasite determined to kill its host (sorta like MA in the US).