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Children's Television Workshop Closes Investigation of Bert/Osama Relationship

Washington � Today the Children�s Television Workshop and the Jim Henson Company announced they have closed their investigation of the relationship of Bert and Osama Bin Laden. The investigation has found no solid evidence that a relation ever existed between Bert and Osama. The investigation was prompted when Bert appeared in a picture beside the infamous terrorist (see related story). Bert has been suspended with pay since the picture came to light.

�Yes it definitely was Bert�s image,� Bert�s lawyer Myron Hanpupit said. �Bert though has never met Mr. Osama. I think this is all a serious misunderstanding. We believe that one of Mr. Osama�s associates had the picture manufactured since Mr. Osama is a fan of Bert�s television show and we have been told this is how he was learning English. Basically, its guilt by association.�

�Also, the fact that Bert had been considering converting to Islam may have added fuel to the fire,� stated Mr. Hanpupit.

At this time Bert remains a member of the small cult group Christians Searching for a Better Way which sponsors the annual �Up with Puppets� show.

When pressed to responded to rumors that Bert had met with Iraqi intelligence agents Mr. Hanpupit refused to comment.

Bert will resume work on Monday of next week.

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