Short Rounds

Britain's "Most Massacred" Regiment

Among the many regiments that have served in the British Army over the centuries is one that holds the dubious distinction of having been wiped out more often than any other in the history of the service, the former 44^th Regiment of Foot.

The 44^th Foot had its origins in 1741, when one James Long raised a regiment for the British Army.  For a time known as the 55^th Foot, in 1748 the regiment was redesignated as the 44^th, and was later renamed the 44^th East Essex.  In 1851 the regiment merged with the 56th West Essex Regiment and became the 1^st Battalion of the new Essex Regiment.

On four occasions the regiment was virtually obliterated in action.

• Sept. 21, 1745, the Battle of Prestonpans, Second (or maybe Third or Fourth . . . ) Jacobite Rising: Of 291 men present in five companies, some were killed but most were captured, including 13 officers, among them Lt. Col. Sir Peter Halkett, commanding.
• July 9, 1755, the Battle of the Monongahela ("Braddock's Defeat"), French & Indian War:  The regiment lost heavily, with many killed, including Col. Halkett and his son, and most of the rest wounded.
• January 13, 1842, Battle of Gandamak, First Anglo-Afghan War:  The final battle of the British retreat from Kabul, only one man escaped death or capture, to make it back to India, Surgeon William Brydon; 41 men were subsequently released from captivity
• July 1, 1916, Battle of the Somme, The Great War:  In 90 minutes (1050-1220) the 1^st Battalion took so many casualties that it was unable to continue in action.

On might also include the Battle of New Orleans (January 8, 1815), where the regiment suffered 36 killed, 162 wounded, and 80 captured, for 278 casualties, not to mention one officer subsequently cashiered.  Making matters worse, American observers claimed that the regiment left the field precipitously.

In 1958 the Essex Regiment was amalgamated with another regiment to form the 3rd East Anglian Regiment, which in 1964 became the 3^rd Battalion of the Royal Anglian Regiment.  In 1992 the regiment was wiped out for the last time, when the battalion was formally disbanded --  sic transit gloria mundi.

"Well, What on Earth Did You Do . . . ?"

Among the many people Peter the Great of Russia (r., 1682-1725), sent to the west to study modern technology and military methods was Generalmajor Ivan Mikhailovich Golovin (1672-1732).  In 1717 Golovin was dispatched to Venice to learn the arts of building and operating of war galleys, of immense value in numerous islands that were found in the coastal waters of the Baltic.

After four years, Golovin returned to Russia.  The Tsar interviewed Golovin at Kronstadt, headquarters of his new Baltic Sea fleet, to see just what the man had learned.

As Peter pressed Golovin for information and ideas, it soon became evident that the man knew nothing about building or operating war galleys.  Nevertheless, the Tsar persisted, thinking that perhaps Golovin had learned some other useful arts.  Nothing.

Bemused, Peter asked "Did you at least learn Italian?"

"No."

"Well, what on earth did you do," roared the exasperated Tsar, "during the four years you were there?"

"Most gracious Sovereign, I hardly ever left my house.  I smoked tobacco, drank wine, and played the bass-viol," came the swift reply (almost certainly omitting dalliances with the numerous courtesans for which the Venice of the day was famed).

The candid response amused the Tsar, who was fond of Golovin anyway.  Rather than punishing Golovin, Peter left him with his rank, and even appointed him "Chief Surveyor of the Fleet," adding to his little joke an order changing his name to "Golovin-Bass-viol."

While much might not have been expected from the Golovin in his new assignments, apparently he actually did a pretty good job in helping to found the new Russian navy and after Peter's death rose to admiral.

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